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Who is co-sleeping? How old is your child?

My daughter turned 2 in July and has been sleeping in our bed since she was around 10 months old. I was back at work full time and needed sleep at night. Around 10 months old she began teething badly and would only sleep if in bed with us. It's what worked for everyone at the time.

I can't seem to get my 4 year old out of my bed. I started the nasty habit way back when, and now and finding it's the hardest to break.

I would love to hear some ideas on how to break this habit.

We co-sleep, too. We started doing it around 4 months. Will is 11 months old now. Right now it is the only way he'll sleep, but I'm worried about if he'll ever be able to sleep on his own. I really don't want him still sleeping with us when he's 2 or 3. We tried the cry it out thing and it was a nightmare. It just doesn't work on all babies. And it seems so mean. Now we put Will to bed in his crib and he'll sleep 2 or 3 hours. I'm glad for that at least so I don't have to go to bed at 8:00PM every night. But once he wakes up the only way he'll go back to sleep is if I put him in our bed and then he stays there the rest of the night.

We tried a toddler bed on the floor next to our bed and that didn't work. My daughter is a light sleeper and wakes up as soon as you try to move her from one bed to another.

At 2 her cries are heartbreaking. When she looks so pitiful and is crying "Muh muh" it's hard to resist. :-)

My daughter does not sleep with us. I have woken up a few times to find her in our bed because my husband has gotten up to feed her and just left her in our bed. I am highly against co-sleeping but he doesn't seem to see the problem with it. I myself was a co-sleeper as a child and I stayed in my parents room off and on (mostly on) until I was 8 years old. I think a parents bedroom is "their space" not a space for the whole family. I may change my mind one our LO is up and going non stop and I am in dire need for sleep but as of right now its not going to happen. In my opinion it is okay if the child is sick or has a bad dream but an every night thing just doesn't work for me. To each their own though, its just not something I hope to partake in. Also my husband works shift work and when we do actually get to share the same bed at night I enjoy it being just us. I must admit, I do like the family cuddle time but when its time for sleep she goes into her bed where she sleeps the night. She has actually started crying to go to her bed. She no longer wants to be rocked, held, or lulled to sleep by us. I guess my dependent LO is becoming a "big" girl. Ha! I am also guessing this will change? Right ladies?

I don't have alot of suggestions on making the transition from co-sleeping to sleeping alone, but I do have a little advice on helping your child learn to go to bed alone. I read the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-H...9780449004029/?itm=1
It suggests a slow transition from what the child is comfortable with to the new situation. For us Olivia was 12 months old and was rocked to sleep. She had begun fighting us really bad at night and it could take up to 30 minutes of fighting her to get her to sleep, only for her to wake up 10 minutes later and want to start the whole routine over again. A friend told me some of the suggestions in the book helped them so i gave it a shot. There are a couple different methods suggested but I choose the more gentle route. I started with daytime naps. We stuck with our usual naptime routine. i would rock her for a certain amount of time (decreasing it daily) then putting her to bed awake. She would cry for a few minutes but would be asleep in no time at all. I learned quickly to not stand at the door because that just made it sooo much worse, I would go make the bed or put on a load of laundry where I could hear her but i wasn't just standing there torturing myself. After a week we had naps down so we started bedtime. Within two weeks she was able to put herself to sleep and soothe herself back to sleep when she woke up the middle of the night. Now a couple months later, we tell her it is naptime/bedtime, she kisses her daddy goodnight, walks into her bedroom for me to put her in bed. She doesn't cry at all anymore.

We co-sleep. Lily is 12 months old and has slept in our bed since the day she came home from the hospital. This wasn't planned of course but it's just one of those things that happened. I never thought I would feel so strongly about co-sleeping. I love it. We went and spent a bunch of money on a convetible crib when I was pregnant and she's never slept in it (we have tried, though not recently, and she just wouldnt.)
When she was a newborn she wouldn't even sleep in her bassinet but would go right to sleep when we put her in bed with us. The only thing is I would like some quiet time with DH now and then but that's just not going to happen anyway. Other than that, I love co-sleeping. Although I am a little worried that she may never want to leave our bed because sooner or later she will have to - and I am not a fan of the crying it out method.. to me that's just seems so evil.

LivisMom, I'm with you! That book is awesome. It was given to us from some friends and we have used it at every nap transition for our daughter. Caden has never slept with us - she won't even sleep in the bed with when we travel on road trips and just stop at a hotel to sleep! She will never go to sleep! But we did have to break her around 3 months of rocking to sleep and the book helped a lot. Our ped. also said the same thing and reminded us that it's not really torture when they are crying - although it sounds soooo sad! They will never remember it...unless it last too long and then it will be very hard to break the habit, and they will remember because they are older. I suggest trying to get the book. It worked for us. Our daughter has a bedtime routine and after a few books, some kisses, and all of her "loveys" in the crib, we turn off the light and say goodnight. She puts herself to sleep. It makes the night a lot easier for us.

I personally don't have a problem with CIO, if it works for your child. Some people say it works quickly and easily and for those families it's a good thing. But with will he cried for hours night after night. We tried it at 6 months and then briefly again at 10 months thinking it would work better since he was older- wrong! I say if it works quickly do it, but it seems wrong to let your child keep crying night after night especially if they are crying for long periods of time. It just doesn't work for all babies.

Sarah - I agree with you there. I've heard some people that seem to have success with the crying it out but I know that it doesn't work for all babies. My Pedi keeps telling me that it will work and that it isn't a mean thing to do but it seems so mean to me letting her cry and scream so loud that she loses her breath and all she wants to do is to sleep close to Mommy and Daddy. I just wish there was an easier way.

I'll tell ya - we had both our girls sleeping the entire night in their beds (ages 2 and 4 at that time) and then nightmares and thunderstorms reared their ugly heads and now it's a crap shoot. We have nights where they go down in their own beds just fine, after we check for stars (no possible threat of storms) and we are good. Then if we have thunderstorms at any point in the daytime that day, forget it! We are co-sleeping, no doubt about it! We do the best we can and take it day by day and just figure they'll outgrow it if we keep on trying. We do have more times in their own beds then in with us now, it's moving in the right direction (ages almost 4 and 6 now).

At first with both children they both slept in our bed until they were 3 mos old. And then they were put in their cribs, but soon after the baby was born my oldest ( who is 3) starts to climb in our beds and now we can't seem to get her out. We really need good nights sleep. i am definitly looking into this book that Livimom suggested. I hope it will help.

LivisMom, we used that book and it worked. I recommend it to my friends.
We did CIO with Jack and it worked like a charm. It was 8 days of hell for me. But each day got better and better and then, poof, he was going to bed in his crib by himself. It was such a relief on that 8th day!
We didn't ever co-sleep because I would just nurse Jack to sleep and then carefully put him in his crib. It was weaning him off the bad nurse-to-sleep habit that led me to the CIO method. I had plenty of family and friends who used the method and swore by it. And it worked for us. But I agree. Each child is different and what works for one may not work for another.

Kristi- I love that book and still go back to it when we have a sleep issue come up. My favorite part of the book is that it teaches you how much sleep your child really needs, good sleep patterns and signs to look for to see that they are tired. I found that I was starting bedtime to late and she was overtired makig it harder for her to go to sleep. I moved bedtime up 30 minutes and it made a HUGE difference. Our original situation was simuliar to yours, Olivia would either fall asleep drinking a bottle or being rocked, then at about 12 months that just wasn't working for her anymore so I had to find another way to get her to sleep.

And even though i worked for us I agree that CIO doesn't work for every child.

I read The No-cry Sleeping Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It didn't really help in transitioning Will from our bed to his crib, but a lot of people give it good reviews...so maybe it would help some of you that want to stop co-sleeping but don't like CIO. It did help in establishing a regular bedtime for Will and getting him to sleep quicker, although he does still have to be rocked and put to bed asleep. The book has some good suggestions, but with Will no matter what you do, if he's put to bed awake he's gonna scream. I think it's important to have some type of bedtime routine that is the same (or as close as possible) each night. Babies can't tell time so they need something to give them a clue that bedtime is coming.