TuscMoms.com

TLC launched a new reality show called "The Secret Life of a Soccer Mom."
It puts a SAHM back into the workforce for a week. The twist? (of course there's a twist) At the end of the week she must decide if she wants to continue working or go back to being home.

Well, one woman decided that being back at work made her feel complete. And this enraged a lot of SAHMs.

Check out both sides of the debate in this Newsweek story:

http://www.newsweek.com/id/128571

I guess some moms just feel more fulfilled by working outside the home. My SIL is like that, and I was sorta like that when I had my first child (18 years ago!!).
I stayed home with him for about three years, but I was depressed & bored most of the time, and I think he would have been better off if I'd gone back to work sooner. I mean, he would have at least had a happy mother, right?
It was so bad that when I decided to have baby #2, I planned on going right back to work. But I couldn't do it.
That was more than three years ago, and I don't regret a second of it. I have never felt more fulfilled or competent - even though I had a pretty serious career going for almost ten years before I dropped out of the workforce. And I thought I liked the work I did.
But the sense of accomplishment I felt when doing my "real job" was nothing compared to what I feel now, because it was accompanied by so much stress (about the next deadline, the next job, the next enemy I'd make for the sake of my work...) and guilt (all that typical "working mother" stuff, where you feel you're not giving your all to work but you can't give your all to your kids, either, and you feel stretched in every direction ...) that I couldn't even sleep at night.
Now I'm responsible for giving my child a happy, active life and helping him discover the world (or at least Tuscaloosa ) - and I see the results every day.
I can also make sure that our lives and schedules run smoothly, and that's been a big relief for the whole family.
And I must say - I sleep great most nights now. And I think that's because I feel that I'm actually giving my all to something I really care about.
I do some freelance work now, though, so I am able to make a little money and stay in contact with the adult world, and I may not be anyone's idea of a typical stay-at-home mom.
But I don't work much (maybe eight hours a month), and I can honestly say that I've never ever missed my old job - and I don't feel I've "given up" anything.

Yikes! That was the longest post I've ever written. Sorry guys!

DistractedMom, I don't think you could have described exactly how I am feeling more accurately if I had dictated the words to you. At least the part about being stretched in sooo many directions, and not being able to give your all to one thing or the other without feeling guilty for neglecting work or your child and home.

It is so terribly hard to want to be with your son, but also to know if you don't go to work, you can't provide for your son. It's a vicious web I'm stuck in. I absolutely couldn't take the hit of losing my income, so I'm stuck volleying back and forth between doing a great job at work (and letting my house and child and hubby suffer), or being a great mother and wife (doing so makes my work suffer). It's kind of a lose-lose situation.

I keep waiting for that perfect balance to emerge... and sweep me off my feet. I fear it is only in my imagination.

My ideal situation would be part-time working. Because I do like working outside the home, I just hate that it takes up 3/4 of the waking hours of every single day. I wouldn't mind to work 3--12 hour days every week. But I have never heard of such a thing in my line of work. Oh well....life will go on.

Thanks for letting me know I am not the only one who feels so torn...

I know how hard it is, RM. And I know it really sucks even worse when you don't have a choice.
Maybe one day someone will remember you in their will, huh?!
But my eldest, most neglected son ( ) claims he still loves me, so don't worry. Your LO will respect you for it in the end!

LOL! I can only dream of being left a fortune ...Don't we all?

If I hit it big, I promise to share!! All I really need is a few million...

ROTFL!
Hey, do I get a piece for helping introduce you guys?

Absolutely, Kristi. $100 and a free beer for each of my new Tuscmoms friends!

Hi, Friend!!!