TuscMoms.com

I'll try to make this a short question to you all. As moms we absolutely want the best for our kids. Best education leading to a best life with many choices. I know that we can't completely shelter them from everything, but we can guide their experiences. I am a new teacher and I absolutely love the subject I teach and the kids (well, the normal kids). When I say normal I mean those loving big eyed wonderful creatures that have natural curiosity and funny stories and precious faces. I am not in love with a few types of kids that seem to ruin a school day over and over and over with no success in correcting them. I teach K-5, the entire school so I get every kid from the advanced, to special ed, disadvantaged to well advantaged. Most kids act the same, but there area few that are mean and do not care what you do to them, and they fit into all categories I just mentioned above.

Here is my dilema. I have a Kindergartener. She is in a class with a few kids that reak havick (sp?) on their teacher each day, I know this from my daughter's stories and because I also teach them. In a school of 857 kids with 45 different classes, there are at least 2, if not 3, in each class that are this way. They paralyze the teaching. They cause great teachers to have to cease their instruction to deal with them for either short or long periods of time with little success. It's starting to spread to the others because they see these issued kids act out and nothing is really done, so they play along as well.

As a 2nd year teacher I hear stories from the veterine teachers that it was not always like this. It's getting worse. I have seen a difference in only 2 years of total disrespect for piers, authority, and property amuck in my school.

I do not want my daughter to sit in a class day after day, week after week and listen to dicipline issues stalling her acheievement. So, home school? Can I? ???? We are a 2 income family - we need 2 paychecks so what now? Trapped in a situation where I see public schools turning into juvenile hall/daycare with a few lessons taught along the way.

Anyone else out there have issues with their school aged kids being stuck in a class where nothing or very little seems to get done?

It scares me!

Forgive me as I haven't been in school for a long while, but I knew of one child that was forced to go to another school because he constantly caused such a disturbance in class. Is that not a possibility here? Or have the PC people stopped you from being able to handle the misbehaving children? I know when we misbehaved in school, it was a good whipping or detention, whatever the behavior warranted.

I know it would take some work (and am pretty sure it has been done), but has someone tried talking to the parents of the children, and tell them their child is hurting other childrens ability to learn? I know I would do everything in my power if it were my child to stop him from misbehaving at school. Maybe a threat to the parents that their child will be moved to a special needs class if they can't behave will do the trick. Or maybe some of them really could use a special needs class, that can devote more time to them individually. I don't know whether any of this is possible, just throwing out suggestions.

I sure hope schools can work this out before my LO has to go to school. I doubt they will though, and it scares me too that my baby will be dealing with this someday!

April-mommy to Ronald-1 year old

Hey Grndhogmom, I know how you feel!
I have so much respect for teachers, but they have to deal with a room full of kids from so many different backgrounds that the kids without issues often get left behind.
We are now homeschooling our three-year-old son and plan to continue, mostly because I saw how traditional schooling - with its politics, red tape and oversized classes - sucked the curiousity, creativity and enthusiasm for learning right out of his older brother, who is now a very apathetic & underacheiving senior in high school.
I think any family can homeschool, though I know two-income families will have a harder time. But I belong to an online support group that has monthly playdates (it's called Birmingham Area Unschooling Parents, or BAUPS), and I''m sure there are some in your area.
There are also some very, very good (and detailed) books about homeschooling/unschoolling, and I've read several that contain some good advice on what is called "part-time homeschooling," for two-income families.
But are you absolutely positive y'all can't survive on one income? We were a two income family before we had our preschooler, but we cut back (we no longer need two cars, & I no longer need to buy lunch out or as many new clothes as I used to, for instance) & found a way for me to stay home.
That was three years ago, and we're still getting by (though I freelance to help make ends meet).
Anyway, good luck!

You would not believe all the "rules" in favor of the "bad" kids these days. PC has killed teacher behavior management options. Sue happy parents take up for their kids and we have to bend to suit. I understand what it's like to be a mom of a child that you love to the ends of the earth and I would defend my child to the end if it was right and just, but I have had some real run ins with parents this year that defend their child's right to yell in my face. I am just floored as a new person to the profession on how it's all changed since I was in school! I actually remember getting a paddling for forgetting my homework one time in elementary school - I remember it like it was yesterday.

I agree that it is very difficult for a teacher to manage a variety of needs, behaviors, strengths, and weaknesses simultaneously (that's why they get paid the big bucks )I also agree that there may be times that a need for greater attention toward one child's negative behaviors compromises the attention other children receive. This is very unfortunate for the other children, and the teacher. There may be times, in these situations, that parents should communicate with their principals to request aides for the problematic child (and the teacher!).

However, I have to defend the "problem children." I don't believe any child chooses to be bad without having a reason to do so. Understanding those reasons are very difficult if we have not been in their shoes (or their parents' shoes)..it could be environmental, medical, emotional, neurological, or all of the above! I have had the opportunity to work with many families of children who would be condsidered very difficult. Many times, their children's behavior frustrates and exhausts the parents just as much, if not much more, than the teachers and other parents. I'm not at all saying that those children should be included in a typical education classroom like grndhogmom's daughter's kindergarten classs. In fact, I may totally change my tone when my lo is in school. I'm just saying we are all (thankfully)entitled to free and appropriate education in our country..even the rowdy kids...though I do also think we're still miles and miles away from getting the "appropriate" part polished.

Oh God, yeah! Kids "with problems" are still just kids and have as much a right to a free education as any other kid, I totally agree. That's the beauty of public schools, and why I'll never complain about paying taxes to help support them.
Our schools are great equalizers that improve the lives of "problem" kids, impoverished kids and kids from troubled homes, and that's a great thing for the children and for the country as a whole.
But if you have the resources, ability and desire to give your own child an education customized to fit his own specific needs and abilities (rather than the general needs of a large group of very different kids), why not do it?
I do support the schools and applaud the system's efforts to educate every child, though. And I do feel guilty about not participating (this time around!), but I guess I just have to do what's right for my family.
And I doubt any of this is helping you at all, Grndhogmom! Have you decided what you're going to do, yet? Or has the issue been resolved?
Good luck with your kids and your class, and please keep us updated!

I agree that the situation is getting worse in the schools. I am a former teacher and as the years went by it got worse. I have been out of the classroom for two years, I decided to stay home after my second child. My son will start kindergarten in the fall and I pray that he will remember lessons taught at home so that he will not want to act like those misbehaving. If we are going to change the situation, it needs to start at home and get the parents to be held responsible.

All my life when a large problem faced me I always let it be and had patience to do nothing until a great solution came to me. It's worked out wonderfully each and every time. I will say that learning all about the federal and state guidelines for education has my head in a spin. No Child Left Behind is a real complicated thing. It has caused changes in testing, classroom dynamics, special education requirements and environments as well as how many times children are allowed to "mess" up big before action can be taken to assist them. At this point I have signed my letter of intent to teach next year and have picked my daughter's 1st grade teacher (whom I respect and love dearly) and will ride it another year. Let me say this about what I labeled as a "bad" kid before. I was horrified to find out that this adorable little girl, that would throw fits in the art room if she didn't get the crayon she wanted first, I thought was a bit spoiled and was stern with her. I later found out that she is a foster child that hasn't been in one place longer than 3 months her entire life. I was hit with a ton of bricks and approached her differently and she is now my littler helper. On the same note, I get a boy who is mean to kids. Smashes their art work, scribbles on their paintings and trips them as they walk by him. He comes from a wealthy house hold (mother lawyer, father engineer) and he is a pill. Caught him one day after school and found out that he's into skateboarding and his father doesn't let him do it because it's a "slacker sport". He is angry about that 100% of the time. We have better days now because we talk skateboards. In a school of 857 I know there are good bad kids and bad good kids and kids with bad days and good days, so I chug along and pray that we all survive school and life. P.S. - No Child Left Behind needs to be left behind!!! It's not allowing us to give that special attention like we could before.

Yeah, I think No Child Left Behind left everyone behind, and I'm hoping we'll dump it after the upcoming elections.
But it sounds like you can keep an eye out for your girls - since you're a teacher yourself & know many others - so I bet you don't need to worry too much!
Hope everything works out!

Much like the kids, I have good days and bad days teaching. Today is a good day. Even though we are not at school today (MLK Holiday) I got an e-mail letting me know that I am nominated for Teacher of the Year. This is voted on by students, pier teachers, and parents. Usually an "activity teacher" (i.e. music, art, P.E.) doesn't win, just being nominated makes me feel like a million bucks. If there is anyone out there considering teaching as a career I will say this to you (remember I am saying this as a rookie) but its the HARDEST job you'll ever love. Some days you'll come home and cry, others you will laugh all day. You will get an enormous amount of paper weights for Christmas and you will feel, at the same time, that you make no difference and that you make a huge difference. The schedule is amazing because you get all the great holidays off and summers! It is THE MOST kid friendly full time work schedule you can get with the greatest benefits. But we all know that anything difficult that shakes you to your core is worth the effort - - - - i.e. parenting!

Congrats!!! I hope you win! Sounds like you are a great teacher.

I know there are great kids that sometimes take out their frustration at school. Take my niece. She recently started acting out at school (disrupting class, grades slipping), and during family get-togethers as well. Her parents are going through a tough divorce, and being the oldest of three at 8, she seems to be ignored alot (her siblings are 5 and 3). She was upset and almost in tears at Christmas, and I pulled her outside to ask her what was wrong. She said her Daddy has moved in his girlfriend, and is planning to marry her. He is not even divorced yet! Better still, the new fiance is trying to push her way in. I tried to explain it all to her the best I could, and tried to help her be positive. It was so sad the look on her face when she was talking. She is mad and sad at the same time, without being old enough to know how to handle it. So she has acted out. So I understand what you mean when you say ther are bad good kids.

I still think there should be some sort of in-between classrooms. Classes for kids that aren't truly special-needs, but still need extra attention (smaller numbers of kids, more individual attention, a more personal touch). Maybe even just short term extra attention. Like you said, maybe just someone to find out who they are, and what is causing them to act out. Just a class to help teachers like you, who don't have the time to spend individually with each child and bond with them. Maybe it's just my dream....

April-mommy to Ronald-1 year old

Congrats on the nomination!! That is awesome!! It sounds like you are doing an amazing job as a teacher Those kids are lucky to have you.

Wow! That's so great! Congrats!

grndhogmom, did you ever find out if you won Teacher of The Year? I'm hoping you did, cause you sound like a great teacher.

Not yet - they have a ceremony in April county wide.