My mom lives all the way across the country, yet she is still managing to drive me totally insane with her advise! Every single time I call her she asks where Will is sleeping and I tell her (again) that he is still sleeping with us. She is set on giving me endless advice on how to get him to sleep in his own crib. She tells me the same thing over and over and over, even though I keep telling her we've tried that and it didn't work. Everything she suggests is either something I've tried and didn't work or something I would NOT do, and I've told her as much, but she keeps persisting! The one time I took one of her suggestions (also the suggestion of our ped and several friends) and tried the CIO method, she still wasn't happy. She kept saying that if we just let him cry he'd learn to go to sleep on his own, but when we did this she said we let him cry too long! And even though we've already tried the CIO method twice, with more harm than good, she keeps insisting that we try it again. She kept on about how to get Will to sleep in his crib for over 30 minutes last night (glad Cingular is free after 9:00). I even told her I'm tired of hearing everyone's opinion on this topic (without singling her out specifically). When she kept on, I just told her I needed to go. By the way, her latest suggestion is that I give him a bottle in his crib! Anyway, I don't know why she even cares so much. Where Will sleeps has no effect on her! I would have never even told her that Will sleeps with us, because I had a feeling what her reaction would be, but at the time she was starting to talk about coming for a visit soon...so she'd find out anyway.

Sorry for the rant... And by the way, I really appreciate the advice people on this forum have given me on the whole sleep issue when I posted about it a while back. Y'all were helpful and not pushy, like my Mom! And I asked for y'all's input. I never asked her...

LOL, SM. Moms can be so annoying!
I don't know what you do with yours, but I just get stern with mine. If she asks me a question that both of us know she won't like the answer to, I just say "I'm not going to answer that, Mom. We've gone around and around about it, and I'm going to do what going to do." Sometimes she gets mad, but she always gets over it! I do have her beloved grandsons, after all.

LOL...I agree with you....sometimes moms can be annoying....but you have to keep in mind that all she wants to do is help and be involved. My mom and my MIL also live across the country so I know how you feel there. I do also know that there are times that I wish she was here. As far as the unwanted advice goes, all I can tell you is to let her voice her opinon and go on. Listen to what she says, and let it go in one ear and out the other. (If it is that bad, sometimes moms can have good advice). If her advice is something you think you can use that by all means try it, if not just let her talk. Yhen she visits, let her do her own thing, because that is her time with him, and that is precious. In the long run, you know what is best for Will and what works and doesn't work. Bottom line is you have to do what is best Will, regardless of who gets mad, or who thinks you should do things a certian way.
I hope this helps, and if you need to talk let me know. I have been in your place before, and sometimes it helps to have someone to talk to who is in your shoes.

My daughter is almost a year old and she still sleeps with us as well. She has never slept in her crib and I tried letting her cry it out a couple of times but that just seemed so cruel. Anyhow, I'm sick of tired of hearing people's opinions on the subject as well as on the subject of weaning. We will do what is best for us. My Grandmother felt like she had to tell me today that she apparnetly thoguht it was ridiculous when she discovered that my daughter still sleeps with us. She got this look of disgust and proceeded to tell me that it was time for her to sleep in her crib NOW and all that. I know it is annoying. I guess some people may mean well but it's really none of their business and unless we ask for their opinion, I wish they would keep it to themselves.

I didn't know you had this issue also. I'm glad I'm not the only one struggling with this.

Just wanted to offer my support. My daughter slept in our bed every night until she was past a year old. She still comes to sleep with us occasionally. Now she puts herself to sleep in her crib and it didn't take CIO. I think we just had to wit until she was old enough.

Anyway, I understand where you are. My mom and dad were giving me a LOT of unsolicited advice about sleeping at the end. I ignored it until I couldn't stand it anymore. Then I told them that I simply would not discuss it with them and changed the subject anytime they brought it up. I felt so rude. They finally got the message and quit hassling me about it.

I also passed along this information to them and that helped get them off of my back about "just letting her cry." http://www.sleepnet.com/infant3/messages/534.html

My mom gave me some pretty good advice once that has actually come back to haunt her a few times. But, her advice was when people give you advice that you know you shouldn't follow, smile and nod and do what you want when you get home.

Oh I hear you. My mom is very opinionated and likes to see us do things her way. I get really annoyed sometimes. I've learned to just listen to what she has to say and then do things my own way. If I disagree with her it can turn into a battle.
Good luck with your sleeping situation.

Ugh!!! My mom just won't stop.

Last night she called a little after 9:00 PM. A little while into the phone conversation, Will woke up. I told her had woke up and to hold on a second so I could make sure Brian had him. She asked me what time he had gone to bed and I told her 7:30 and she laughed at me and said that's the problem. I explained that his normal bedtime is 8 PM, which is a very reasonable bedtime for a baby his age, and I had put him to bed 30 minutes early because his nap was shorter than usual that afternoon and he was cranky and ready to go to bed. (By the way DH gave him his paci and he was back asleep almost instantly). Uggh... If I keep him up later he'll just catch his 2nd wind and be up till midnight. Why in the world would I want to do that?? At that point I would like to go to bed myself!! I'm fed up and did not appreciate the way she laughed at me. I wanted to really give her a piece of my mind, but I just bit my tongue and tried very hard to change the subject.

I think she will probably be coming to visit around the beginning of October and I really need to do something about this situation before then, because I can't deal with her constantly complaining about our sleeping arrangements the entire time she is here. Should I send her an e-mail, calmly explaining the situation, why we co-sleep, everything we have tried, and why I do not appreciate being ridiculed, and ask her not to give us any more advice on the matter? I think I can explain myself better in writing, because if I try to talk to her over the phone or in person about this I am really going to blow up at this point.

I know I may seem to be making a big deal over nothing, because all parents give unwanted advice, but y'all really just don't know my mom. Every single time I talk to her this comes up and it is basically all we talk about. She is unrelenting!

Is your mom saying that 7:30 is too early, SM? Because my LO is almost four - and he's often sound asleep by 7 pm!
He usually sleeps about 12 solid hours, unless he's gone to bed too late. If he's not asleep by 8pm, I know he'll be up before 6 am. That's just the way his clock works (and, in my experience, it's the way many kids' clocks work).

Anyway, I have no advice for you. It would drive me nuts, too, though - and I hope you come up with a solution soon!
Good luck.

Yes, she thinks it is way too early. Actually she has commented on his normal 8 PM being too early as well. She thinks that if I keep him up later he won't wake up in the night and want to get in bed with us and will also sleep later in the morning. Like you described with your child, that just isn't the case with Will. If he stays up later he does not sleep in any later in the morning and sometimes even gets up earlier than normal. Plus, if I keep him up past the point he is ready to go to bed, it just makes it harder to get him to go to sleep. What's strange is I can remmber my bedtime as a child being 8 PM. I don't know what age I was, but it was in elementry school. So, you would think that if she thinks a school age child should be in bed at 8 PM, she would think a baby should be in bed even earlier, right? I can actually my parents changing my younger brother's bedtime to 7:30 for a while once because he was so grumpy in the morning and didn't want to get up to go to school. I'm thinking he was around kindergarden age a the time.

OH SM, I can totally relate! My mom is always throwing her two cents in and on some issues she keeps at it and it drives me nuts. An email sounds like a good idea so you can calmly express your thoughts without blowing up. It'll kinda set the tone for her visit before she comes. A warning.

SarahMay, do you think that if you write her that email explaining everything it will help her to understand, or will it just give her more points of opportunity to counter your reasoning? If you do think it will help and decide to do it, can you also end it with saying something like you'd like now to put the topic to rest and not discuss it anymore because y'all have made up your minds and discussing it further isn't going to change that and only creates tension between you and your mother? And if it were me (and I recognize that most people have more tact than I do!) I'd probably also say that if she is so against the co-sleeping and uncomfortable with it that she should probably find somewhere else to stay when she's in town.