TuscMoms.com

An interesting article about the things we give our children to play with. Are we perpetuating gender stereotypes or does it not matter?

http://www.parenting.com/article/Child/Behavior/Guns-and-Dolls

You know, I agree that boys and girls are just born different, and my son really doesn't care for dolls (we do have some, even though we have no girls). But I don't get it when parents claim their sons just seem to magically figure out - out of no where - what a weapon does, is & looks like.
My son's almost four, and he has no guns & has never "made a gun out of a cracker," as this story's author claims hers did.
That's because mine's never seen anyone else use guns - on tv or in person or anywhere else. I suspect that when he does, he'll be fascinated. But boys don't just magically dream these things up in their heads, IMO.

And the funny thing is - about a year ago, my father bought my LO a set of soft "swords" so he could play pirates or something. But my son had never seen a sword & didn't even know what pirates were at the time ... so all he would do was walk around the yard with them, making buzzing noises and claiming one was a weed-eater and the other was a leaf blower.
My poor Dad!

Anyway, my LO also loves playing in his pretend kitchen, helping me cook, & - although his cars are his favorite toys - he often gives them personalities and feelings so they can talk to each other and be "families."

So I'd say that girls & boys DO like different things. Of course. But they're more alike than different, really.

Interesting article. I would have to agree with a lot of it. It's funny to see how kids gravitate towards a certain kind of toy, although my son and daughter play with each other's stuff all the time. Everything from her play kitchen and baby doll stroller to his toy cars and fire engine.

One thing that did stick out to me was the mention of everything becoming a weapon. We have never had toy guns in the house - even with Jonah's cowboy costume for Halloween - and I mean not even a water gun - and still most things become a gun in some way or another. It amazed me the first time it happened because DH and I just couldn't figure out where he came up with it. I was even scanning my brain for any movies that he has watched that contained guns and shooting weapons, and couldn't come up with one. When he does it, we have made sure to reinforce that we don't shoot guns at people and just kind of drop it. We don't want to make it too taboo that he really goes crazy for them.

I will say that like Distracted and GG, we didn't allow any guns in the house or even allow our son to play with toy guns that he occasionally saw at other people's houses (even water guns). And when he was about 2 and had no idea what a gun even was, he started this thing where he would pretend to squirt things (or the dogs or sometimes people) with the squirty thing on the water hose. And when he wasn't in the yard he would hold his hand out and point it and squeexe and make a sort of swishing noise to squirt his imaginary water hose. So one time he was with me at the hair salon and as we were walking in he passed an older woman sitting talking on her cell phone, and he was making that hose-squirting gesture in her direction and she said into her phone, "oh isn't that cute? this adorable little boy is pretending to shoot me." Of course, I immediately said, "on no, he's pretending to squirt you with the water hose." And I was mortified to think that the woman might think that my child not only knew what a gun was but that he also played with toy guns so much that he went around "shooting" everybody and everything. Later, it dawned on me that she probably didn't give it a second thought and further that there really must be something innate (sp.?) in children (maybe not just boys but I see it more in boys) that fuels their desire to point something at a target and at least pretend to propel a pojectile toward it. When my son was closer to 4, and he was constantly talking about toy guns and how much he wanted one and why couldn't he play with the guns at his friend's house (my friend's son's toys), etc., we finally decided that the strict denial was giving the wholetopic more focus and energy than we wanted (like GG said, too taboo). So we let him have a toy gun with very clear rules and boundaries about what was ok and what wasn't. He's had a few more since, but we still stick to the rules and we don't have anything that shoots actual projectiles (like those darn Nerf things that I can't stand). And btw, he had a baby doll when he was little and plays in the kitchen with his little sister and even played paper dolls with her the other day.

Thats pretty much how it is and has happened over here as well. I have been critized for my "new age" view on letting the boys have play guns and what not, but eventually they somehow figure it out on their own. We've had to do the same thing lawmommy. They recieved one from my aunt at christmas. i absolutly hated the idea, but they were actually really good with them. but they broke, got thrown away, and i'm not running out to buy another!! lol
But Alyssa plays with the boys stuff more than hers, she loves playing race track with alex, and she has a ton of girlie toys. The boys have a kitchen they like to play with that santa brought before we even knew we were having another baby. They even have a shopping cart to go with it!

Normally I would have a lot to say on this but my brain is still in holiday mode.

I do have to say that there is no way that playing with/using guns is genetic/hormonal. A child would have to see one in use at some point. Just look at a gun. There is nothing impressive about it. The power of it is in its action, but as a child you would have no idea what action is associated with it. Therefore, if a child is drawn to guns in particular she/he must have been exposed to the action in some form or fashion.

Besides, a stick looks much more impressive through the eyes of a little kid.

Thanks, maigen. That's what I was trying to say with my ten page post up top.
And I do agree that boys may be instinctively DRAWN to tools/weapons/gadgets - once they've SEEN one. But they don't magically create them out of nothing.
Kids who don't see guns at home could have seen a cousin "play guns," or even a classmate or neighbor. But they saw it somewhere else first, IMO.

And I'm not even saying that I won't ever allow my LO to "play guns." I know it's bound to happen at some point. But I'm glad to put it off as long as possible!

Oh, I don't think playing guns per se is instinctive but the urge to chase a person or thing and point something projectile in their direction might be (like my son and the water hose). Toy guns, like anything else, have to be introduced before they are known to a child. But at some point, kids see things and become curious. Despite my best efforts, my 3yo daughter knows what a Barbie is (she doesn't have one but she did for about a week once when someone gave her one).

Now THAT I can totally see, LM. Mine loves to squirt people with the hose, squirt bottles, old dish soap containers - you name it!

And all I can say about the Barbie is - don't worry, I LOVED Barbie as a kid. And I'm alright. Sorta.

Yeah, I loved Barbie too, but still.